KAI CLEMENT BINGHAM...

Born 23/05/06

By Tanya Bingham

What a surprise it was to learn that you were with us, although you had been showing me signs for some time, I just hadn’t acknowledged them yet. We weren’t sure that we were ready for you, but realised that you were meant to be a part of our family and it didn’t take us too long to adjust.

You traveled so nicely in my belly. You found the perfect birthing position very early on. All the way through Wendy knew that you would be smaller than the 10 pound 6 ounce baby Eben was; perhaps closer but still smaller than the 9 pound 8 ounce baby Lani had been. I liked having my big babies. I felt like I knew how to birth them. Our birth experience would be different to the one I had with your brother and sister not only because you would be smaller (8 pound 13 ounces), but because the intimate journey of birth is naturally so different for all of us.

Lani’s birth was long and dreamy. I don’t remember the finer details of the 13 hour labour but her birth is crystal clear. It went much as expected and we had the wonderful natural birth we’d planned at the Women’s and Children’s birthing centre. Eben and I worked together through his 3 hour labour and birth. From our experience I truly believe the wives tale that bigger babies are easier to birth because they help. He arrived in our lounge room with Mum, Dad, Lani, and midwives Wendy and Tanya to welcome him.

Our labour was a little tougher than the others but only about 2 and a half hours long. For some reason you had decided to turn to your right when we went into labour and you were therefore looking at my inner thigh instead of looking toward my bottom. I think now that you might have done this because the umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck and this was the safest way for you to come out? It meant that I had a lot of pain in my back. But your Dad quickly found the perfect spot and applied the perfect amount of pressure to my lower back which enabled me to move through the pain instead of holding onto it. I really felt ill and that I might vomit while I was holding onto that pain.

Once I had moved into our labour I felt I could get some work done to help you on your journey to us. When I think back now, I remember Wendy checking your heart beat a little while before we got into the pool and it was very slow. Wendy hadn’t mentioned it and I barely noticed to be honest, but perhaps this is why you needed to come quickly?

The pool was ready in the same spot that Eben had arrived in our lounge room and as soon as I hopped in I felt that we were ready for your birth. Your head soon appeared and some photos were taken of your beautiful unique and very lonely little tuft of hair on the top right hand side of your head, which was still encased by the membranes. It wasn’t until your first shoulder was born that the waters broke the membrane. This is called being born ‘in the caul’ and is considered very auspicious and lucky in many cultures!

The cord was wrapped around your neck and Wendy gently rolled you over in the water to undo it with no amount of fuss or panic. When you reached my hands I brought you up out of the water and said hello to my lovely scrunched up little bundle. Dad, Lani, Eben, Gammy, Wendy, Tania and Kalan were all right there to welcome you too.

When I look back at the photo’s of your labour and birth I remember the initial shock that you were with us, and how blessed we are to have you. I remember when Lani and Eben woke up as we were labouring and Dad was filling the pool – it was like Christmas morning to them and it made me smile. I remember the pain, and how wonderfully relieving your Dad’s hands were. I remember the familiar comfort and support of the water that was such an important part of your gentle arrival in the world.

But most of all, I remember looking at you and quietly thanking you for choosing us to be your family and share your journey through life.