THE BIRTH OF ISAAC NOEL CAPUTO...

Tuesday 18th of April, 2006

by Dani Caputo

 

My birth story is a celebration of the most amazing experience of my life and- I hope, encouragement for other first time mothers, considering a homebirth.

In my case, if I had chosen to birth in a private hospital my labour would most likely have fallen into the category as ‘Failed To Progress’. Isaac’s birth was around 32 hours from the very beginning to the end of the third stage. Had I not been given the space and support to find my way and allow my body to do what it does so beautifully, I could now be writing a very different birth story. One I imagine that was disempowering and disappointing.

So, 5 days after my “DUE DATE” on the 17th of April (Easter Monday) @ 3.30am, I was woken by contractions. I tried to sleep through but the excitement and wonder began to run through me. I rolled over and woke my husband Dominic and said “I think something’s happening” he replied “wake me in an hour if you still feel the same”. “Hmmmm” I thought, not the reaction I was hoping for. So I decided to get up and consult my pregnancy book and proceed to read the page ‘signs of early labour’ for the fourth time that week.

My mum was staying over and we passed each other in the hallway. I nervously shared with her “ I think its happening” she squealed with excitement and then quickly switched into mother mode and told me to “get my rest”. Dom really couldn’t sleep so we snuggled up with rugs on the couch and watched some early morning foxtel and snoozed.

At 10am my contractions were 5-10 minutes apart and I decided to call Lisa Barret my midwife to let her know that it may be happening. She was on the front door step with her pool in 30 minutes. (One of the wonderful things about having a midwife was, she was just as excited about the birth). I knew intuitively that I had a long time in front of me and the arrival of Lisa and then my mother in law Angela made me feel a little performance pressure. Next time I will leave it a little longer before calling my midwife and letting the world know I was contracting (later this led to frustration).

So after Lisa arrived, there was much commotion (I’m sure Lisa will question that word and debate that the atmosphere was calm) about setting up the pool with hoses and water etc and it was fascinating to see Lisa setting up for the event we had all been planning for. The day was like the first day of winter, it was a real change from weather we had been having and a nice day to stay inside. Lisa suggested I go for a walk, but as soon as we walked outside it began to pour with rain. So I did do some laps up and down our hallway instead.

My early labour progressed with contractions every 5 minutes. Around lunchtime- we ate rolls, and my support team began watching “Australia’s next top Model’ marathon. I tried different positions over the exercise ball, Lisa rubbed clary sage over my belly, I wore my birthing necklace made by all the women in my life & looking back I remained focused and controlled. At around 3pm I was 2cm dilated.

Around dinner time- 6.30pm my contractions really began to intensify my labour was becoming established and Lisa suggested I get into the pool. The water was a beautiful temperature and this was the first time I was completely naked in front of everyone- in hindsight clearly I was in early labour if I was thinking about that! The water was a nice change but soon I became agitated as I had to pee and wanted out of the pool. It was at this time I found my new appreciation for the seclusion and privacy of our the most holy room in the house- the toilet !

I had to ask everyone to turn their phones off as people were calling to see if the baby had arrived and I was beginning to feel the pressure. Hmmm note to self : “Don’t tell the world next time when you start contracting- too much performance pressure!” Around 10pm I found my self in the toilet with Dom, feeling secure in the dark and supported by him with both hands on the wall. I spent the next few hours back and forth to the pool but as the contractions intensified, I wanted to be away from everyone.

At 1am I asked Lisa to do a vaginal examination and found that I was 3-4cm dilated. Knowing how far dilated may not be best thing for everybody, but I had to know how I was going. At this point I really thought I would be ready to push! Ha! No idea. The result of the examination ‘knocked me for a six’ as I thought I knew my body a little better. In hindsight, how could I know how this would feel? I was completely new to the experience. Lisa and I agreed that she would check me again at 5am to see if I had progressed and if I hadn’t then we would reassess our plan then. In my ‘birthing brain’, I thought this meant that Lisa would advise that I had go to hospital, and I started to freak out. My greatest fear was that I would end up in hospital with an emergency caesarean. That’s not what Lisa meant at all.

At 1.20am I got back in the pool and was freaking out about the thought of going to hospital. I cried to my mum that I didn’t want to go to hospital. It was at this point that my mum really stepped into a huge supporting role for me and assured me that if that’s what I wanted I could do this. She said to me “Its time you stopped avoiding these contractions, and started going through them and know that every contraction brings you closer to your baby, get them out of the way, don’t fight them”. She was so right, she knew her daughter well.

Dom was exhausted and decided to have a lie down on the bed. I lay beside him. It was at this point that I feel it was like I had two labours. The first I controlled and managed with positions, oils, thoughts and expectations. Which ended with, real or not, facing my biggest fear of transferring to hospital for a caesarean, and then coming through the other side of that fear with the help of my mum. The second labour, then beginning when I accepted I had no control over this process, I surrendered and eventually birthed my baby. But back to the story because were not there yet……….

At 3.40am after much discussion, I decided to have my waters broken, in the hope that this would bring things on a little more. It sure did! During this intense stage of my labour Dom slept soundly next to me as I moaned loudly with the big contractions lying on our bed. Mum and I laughed at his ability to sleep through this. A large part of me was relieved that he slept at this point, as part of my personality is always worried about others and to have him not looking at me so worriedly helped me to focus on the job at hand. I didn’t really like him seeing me so vulnerable. At this point, I could not even contemplate being in the water. Mum sat by my side holding my hand and directing my breathing as I was forgetting to breath out and this was causing me to become light headed and even more ‘out of it’.

I knew I had been labouring for a long time but the baby’s heart beat was always fine, so I knew if he was okay- I could keep going, he never ‘skipped a beat’ for want of a better phrase. Lisa was very keen to step back and allow mum to support as she was clearly helping my progress. Lisa kept in the background, but constantly in touch and checking me and the babies progress. Her gentle presence was always felt. Between the hours of 4.00am and 6am my mum sat by my side holding my hands and looking into my eyes. It was during this time that I learned the power of a mothers love for their child. My mum said to me over and over again “Take my strength and energy, draw what you need from me”. As I sit here and write this, my eyes and heart swell with emotion as I now have a small understanding of that willingness and desire to give your child what ever he/she needs. Mum and I slept between contractions but she never let go of my hand.

At 5am Dom was up and Lisa and Angela came into the room. I told everyone that I didn’t want an audience- everyone left quickly- except mum. At 6.15am I was desperate to know my progress. I knew that it could be a ‘double edged sword’ if the result wasn’t what I expected. However- I just had to know, and this time I was 8-9cms dilated and elated. I felt a surge of confidence and surety surge through my body, I knew I could do this. Lisa encouraged me to lie on my left side to allow my cervix to fully open. I questioned her “how will I know when to push?” she replied “you will know”.

At 7am, I had a heavy show, and by 8am I was having some contractions that I felt I could push and others that didn’t warrant a push. By 8.30am my urge to push during all contractions was strong I couldn’t fight that urge. I stood up and ‘pumped’ my self up- saying “I am ready to meet this baby, come on baby”. I looked into the big mirrors of our wardrobe and this set the place where Isaac was born. Dom sat on the side of the bed and I squatted in front of him and bared down. I used a footstool to support my weight between contractions. We could all see the birth clearly in the mirror it was amazing. My mum then moved out of her support role and began to take photos and film the birth. Lisa stepped into her role and there was much excitement in the room. I was happy to have an audience now. Isaac’s head came out in one contraction; both nannas and Dad were crying and squealing with excitement. Lisa directed me to pant and his body came out in the next contraction Lisa lifted Isaac onto my chest and we wrapped him in a warm towel. My mother in law yelled “what is it?”, Lisa replied “it’s a baby” and Angela squealed “it’s a boy!”

At 9.35am Isaac Noel Caputo was born. My beautiful baby boy had arrived finally. Euphoria and emotion overwhelmed us all what a miracle. What an amazing journey and we made it. I couldn’t have done it without those at my birth. The encouraging words Lisa whispered to me in those final stages about how amazing I was gave me the extra energy I needed. The support from Dom rubbing my back and holding me with brute strength as I bared down with all my weight, my mum for guiding me through a maze of fear and my mother in law for facing her own fears and being present for her grandsons birth. Isaac didn’t take to the breast straight away, but that’s a whole other story in itself- another journey for me. The placenta took a long time to come out. Due to me being exhausted. It had come away from the uterus, but I didn’t initially have the strength to push it out. Finally I sat on the toilet, (there we go again) and pushed it out- bringing my total labour to 32 hours. I had no tears or stitches. As I looked around the house, I wondered where my baby was. Angela had gone into whirl wind cleaning, mum was on the phone, and Lisa was examining the placenta. I looked for Dom and there he was sitting in Isaac’s room shedding a tear as he held his son. The overwhelming feelings of joy and love poured out. I looked fondly at my boys and for the first time recognised I had begun my family.

I look back with fond memories on my first birth and am so glad we decided to birth at home. I know that if I had been in a hospital setting, I would have fallen into the category of ‘failed to progress’ and my greatest fears would have come true. First time mums must know that homebirth is a safe option and I highly recommend they really research their birth options before making a decision. Our son has had the best start we feel we could have given him and I was given the space and support to travel my birth journey as it should have evolved. A truly empowering experience.

I did it!