EBEN'S BIRTH STORY ...

by Tanya Bingham

The story of Eben's birth begins with the birth of his (9 pound 8 ounce) sister Lani 3 years earlier. Her birth at the W&C Birth Centre was the wonderful natural birth we had hoped for, and we wanted to repeat the experience with Eben.

With Lani we had 'shared care' with our family GP, which basically means that you only go to the hospital a couple of times (one of those being the birth) and see your GP the remainder of the time. Our family GP was someone we had only needed to see very occasionally prior to our pregnancy with Lani, but we trusted him. He's a very 'hands off Doctor and more likely to give you good advice than a prescription.

Right through my first pregnancy, I had always had 100% faith that my body would do what it needed to bring my baby safely to me, and my GP never gave me any reason to doubt that. I started our pregnancy with Eben feeling exactly the same way, if not more confident after such a beautiful first birth.

At my initial visit with our GP for Eben's pregnancy, I suggested that I would actually be confident having this baby at home, but he genuinely believed that there were no longer any Midwives in S A that assisted home births (due to the insurance crisis) and I accepted this, feeling content and confident that we could repeat the experience we'd had at the Birth Centre with Lani. (I have one of my Midwives cards to pass on to our GP next time we need to visit!)

At my initial visit at the W&C I had a chat to a Midwife who asked me why I wasn't just having a home birth, but again I concluded that I felt comfortable going with what I knew and so she called the Birth Centre to book me in. While she was on the phone, they realised that we had moved and weren't in the catchment zone for their care after the birth, and so I was told to try the FMC Birth Unit.

I was very disheartened at having to go somewhere other than the place I knew, and even more disheartened on my first visit at FMC when I really did not feel comfortable. But after the initial visit, I had an ultrasound and again felt relaxed and happy knowing that we were both healthy.

At about 27 weeks, although I was feeling really well I expected that I should have seen someone since the ultrasound, and so I went to see my GP. I wasn't sure whether he was overseeing my antenatal care (via the 'shared care') or FMC. My GP was a bit panicked to discover that at over 6 months pregnant I hadn't yet been checked by a Doctor, and so he contacted FMC to find out what was going on.

My initial request for 'shared care' had been crossed out in the shuffle and I'd managed to 'slip through the cracks' at FMC and so, FMC requested that I see one of their Obstetrician's as soon as possible -1 was told that I couldn't get a referral to the Birth Unit without it.

The Obstetrician checked me over and seemed to approve until she measured my fundal height. She told me that my measurements were indicative of 34 weeks gestation instead of the 29 weeks I was thought to be, and that I would need a repeat ultrasound, bloods and a glucose test done to check that every thing was ok. I told her that everything was alright, that I get very big when I'm pregnant and that I was just going to have a big baby like last time. She told me that we would need to discuss referral to the Birth Centre after the test results were back to make sure every thing was in fact ok.

The Obstetrician's concerns didn't faze me at this point. As soon as I realised I was pregnant I knew that I was going to have a big baby - I had prepared myself for it and wasn't afraid of it. I still had complete faith that everything was normal (my sort of normal - not statistically speaking), and so it didn't actually occur to me that I might not be referred to the Birth Unit.

For my next visit with the (different) Obstetrician, I had asked my husband Chris to come with. I didn't think I would need him but felt that I wanted him there just in case. Once we'd sat down, the Obstetrician opened by saying that he'd noticed that I'd had a big baby (9 pound 8) first time around. However, with my history of pre-eclampsia in the first pregnancy (a mild case that did not require any treatment or hospitalisation), and the fact that the ultrasound had identified that I had excess fluid around my baby and was carrying a large baby, he did not think I was a suitable candidate for the Birth Centre.

It was truly like a slap in the face. I asked him what the excess fluid could mean and he explained that it can be an indication of gestational diabetes, although they 'could not find any evidence' of that in me at this point. They also had no 'evidence' of pre-eclampsia in this pregnancy either.

So I confirmed that what he was telling me was that although I safely delivered a large baby last time, and my pregnancy was progressing better than last time (no pre-exlampsia or diabetes), that he wouldn't refer me to the Birth Unit. He told me that I needed to think about what was best for the health of me and my baby, that I would require close monitoring and possible further ultrasounds, and asked me to hop on the table for an exam.

As I walked over to the table I started crying uncontrollably. I really couldn't believe what he was saying. My 'safe place' at the W&C had been taken from me because of where we live, and now my last resort had been taken from me because my large baby did not fit the statistics that suited some man who didn't even know me, my body or my babies.

He took my blood pressure as I continued to cry (it was obviously the highest reading through my whole pregnancy, including the one directly after the birth!), and then 'comforted' me by saying that they wouldn't inject me or anything without my permission.

When I look back now he did me a favor, but I will never understand why he couldn't see my body's ability instead of trying to find some inability to birth my baby, and then when he found none, suggesting that there could be a problem anyway.

In those moments sitting on the exam table I saw a cascade of interference and intervention before me and felt truly afraid and anxious about how and where I would now safely birth my baby. Having seen my distress, Chris said that he would support me in what ever decision I needed to make about the birth of our baby, which helped to calm my fears and made me feel that there would be another option for us.

Meanwhile, a close friend of mine Rachelle had also fallen pregnant and had done some investigation and found a Midwife, Wendy to support her in her pregnancy and home birth. I am forever in debt to my friend for having done the ground work in finding such an inspirational Midwife, and suggesting that I come along to her next antenatal visit to have a chat to Wendy about what had happened and discuss my options. That first visit sealed my fate. I immediately felt that I could trust Wendy, and that her inspiring belief in a woman's body to birth their baby would help to restore mine.

The remainder of my pregnancy was such an enjoyable and positive experience. Over time Wendy helped me to regain my confidence, and I was able to turn myself over to my body again and trust that it would do what it needed to bring my baby to me. Through Wendy I was also able to meet some other women who had safely birthed bigger babies at home, which was the last piece of 'evidence' I needed to prove to myself that this Doctor was wrong to doubt mine or any other woman's ability to birth.

At 4am on the 25l of June, Eben started his journey to us. It was truly amazing...

I was in bed and still able to sleep in between contractions just rubbing my back when they came, which was still fairly irregularly. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for some time and didn't actually think I was going into labour at this point.

By 6:45am they were getting a bit stronger and more regular, and I was starting to feel a bit nauseous, so I thought I'd get out of bed. Once I was up, they were much stronger and frequent and I knew that I was going into labour. I still had this idea that I had a while to go though (I think this was because my labour with Lani was 13 hours, so I had this idea in my head that it would be about 6-8 hours this time... wrong!!), and so I decided to tidy up and do the dishes before ringing Wendy (not like me at all!). At 7:15am, unable to get through the dishes, I thought I'd better let Wendy know what was happening.

I told Wendy there was definitely some action happening. She asked how far apart the contractions were and I told her I couldn't get through the dishes. I mentioned that I was feeling nauseous and she said she was coming straight over and her assistant Tania would go get one of the pools (they normally set the pool up in your home when you're getting some 'niggles' but I though I was still having Braxton Hicks and so they'd set up the pools at the homes of the other 2 women that were expecting babies around the same time).

Wendy later told me that feeling like you want to vomit is a good sign of established labour and can mean that your getting close to birthing - so she new it was a bit urgent when I called.. I still thought I had a bit of time and am glad I called her when I did!!

I went in to Chris at about 7:45am and told him Wendy was on the way, he grunted (not a morning person!). I told him he needed to get the hose ready for the pool and he looked at me with a very confused expression asking me what I was talking about. I told him the baby would be coming today, and with a dazed look on his face he was out of bed as quick as I've ever seen him move in the morning!

Wendy arrived in what must have been record time and when she got here, called Tania to tell her not to worry about picking up the other pool because there wasn't enough time (they have a big blow up pool as a back up). It was about this time that I realised our baby really wasn't to far away...

Tania arrived and it was quite comical to see her and Chris literally running around to set up and fill the pool in the lounge room, mean while I was bent over the kitchen counter with a pillow on it having contractions and a rest in between when I needed. Otherwise I was quite alert and able to chat in between contractions, and certainly aware of everything going on around me. It was really very relaxing and gave a great sense of privacy and security to be labouring in my own home and not to have to go anywhere.

As I was bent over the counter breathing away my contractions, Wendy would press my hips together and I found myself rocking back and forth from my toes to my heals. As I reached my heals, I would go into a bit of a squat. At other times I would wrap my arms around Chris' neck and hang there and squat. Both of these positions were very relieving, but I was really looking forward to the enveloping warmth of the pool.

Lani woke up with all the commotion, checked what was going on (we had obviously prepared her in great detail for what would happen) and then went off to have some breakfast.

The hose was connected in our laundry, and Tania told Chris to turn it on fast to get the pool filled quickly. Chris told me later that he saw a bulge of water going down the hose (like in the cartons) and thought to himself I wonder what will happen when that reaches the lounge room'. Of course the hose jumped out of the pool and snaked around in the lounge room - Wendy was in the kitchen helping me on the tail end of a contraction, and needless to say we got a real shock when we heard the water flying around the lounge room!! No harm done though, we have floor boards and so just lay down some towels.

At about 9:10am, there was a massive and single crash of thunder that shook the house and then we got a bit of hail -it was a strong and beautiful sound and suited the amazing moment we were experiencing inside.

I can't describe how calm and connected to my baby that I felt through the contractions. It was quite a different experience to my labour with Lani when I was 'on another planet' and have little memory of the sequence of events. I could really imagine Eben making his way down and found myself talking to him inside myself as I felt his pressure on my pelvic floor. We were working together and I felt no fear.

The pool was done by about 9:15am and I hopped straight in - by that time I was busting to get into the water. My waters broke at 9:16am.
It was a struggle as Eben's head came down my birth canal, and I felt myself losing the connection I had with my baby as I experienced my body's pain. But in birthing his head and body, an even stronger sense of calm returned and we were working together again. I now understand what it means to breath your baby out. It was a truly enjoyable and amazing moment in my life that will stay with me forever.

Lani had come to watch with her dad, and at 9:39am our beautiful baby boy was born. He came to me untouched straight through my legs, and I pulled him up out of the water. What a magical and peaceful birth!

We have some beautiful pictures of Lani during the birth which should allay any persons fear of a child being 'traumatised' by watching a birth. Her face reflects a very exciting, but normal occurrence that she was immersed in watching.

Chris was busy spreading the news and while still in the pool and attached to my baby, I had a quick chat to Rachelle on the phone to tell her about our amazing birth. I felt fantastic and on top of the world! I was in awe of how quickly and smoothly our home birth went - it all felt so normal and right.

After about two hours, Chris separated Eben from his placenta / and our baby's journey to us was complete. He was a very health 10 pound 6 ounces, and I needed no stiches which I put down to the water and the calmness of the birth, having had 8 stitches with Lani.